Foot-in-mouth Syndrome

I just came back from a weekend away in Stratford (Ontario, not England). Andrew and I decided a short getaway would be just the thing to celebrate 4 years’ of marriage and my new gig as a travel and food writer (which explains why I’ve been too busy to post). So we found a decadent boutique B&B, booked some theatre and headed west.

Seems we had Lady Luck on our side this trip. Normally Mr. Murphy tags along, but I think he was a tad busy snowing people under in Buffalo. Turns out we snuck in under the wire at our B&B. The day after we checked out, The Food Network cameras moved in. For the next six months, the entire house will serve as the dorms for a reality TV show based on the reknowned Stratford Chefs School.

As Andrew and I headed out for an afternoon of shopping, our friendly proprietor stopped us on the porch to ask our opinion. Breakfast over, she’d abandoned her cooking duties and was fussing with the placement of an urn on the front porch. It had to look good for the camera since, “This is where they’ll have their smoke breaks and talk about each other.”

I missed the part about the urn and gave her my opinion on chefs who take smoke breaks. Andrew tells me I used the words “idiot”, “stupid” and “dumb” in the same sentence – as in “What sort of stupid idiot would be dumb enough to smoke if they wanted to be a chef?” The woman looked a bit startled, so I dug myself in a little deeper and explained, “It ruins your palate.”

Turns out she smokes.

While I’ll rave about the B&B’s Eastern-influenced decor, down duvet, feather pillows, plush robes, private sitting area and Venetian plaster wall treatments, I’m not saying anything about the food. Why? Because I wasn’t joking when I said smoking ruins your palate. And the proof was in the breakfast pudding.

Share/Bookmark