I loathe carob with the white hot passion of a thousand blazing suns. Ignore the fact I haven’t let carob pass my lips in four decades. My aversion is purely emotional. Maybe carob tastes good. Maybe it doesn’t. And I’m not about to find out. I refuse to even flirt with the idea of recipe testing with this ingredient because it represents a childhood of chocolate deprivation.
Cue the mood music: When I was very young I had severe eczema. I would scratch myself until I bled. In an effort to stop me from tearing my skin open in my sleep, my mother would wrap my weeping limbs with torn bed sheets. They didn’t have cortisone back then, so when I wasn’t swaddled like a burn victim, I was slathered in a cream that reeked of coal tar, forced into lukewarm oatmeal baths and denied certain foods. In a cruel twist of fate, my number one dietary no-no was chocolate.
To save my skin and her own sanity, my mother briefly flirted with carob. She made carob chip cookies, bought carob bars from the health food store and produced one spectacular failure with a carob cake. It might have looked like chocolate but even at five years of age, I couldn’t be fooled. I don’t know who cried harder over carob, Mom or me.
Having outgrown the eczema, I now eat chocolate with abandon and don’t give bed sheets a second thought. However, I’ve heaped all my anger and blame onto carob. Hence my opening statement: I loathed carob with the white hot passion of a thousand blazing suns.
That said, I’m not totally unreasonable. Carob exists for a reason — to fool lovable dogs into thinking they are getting human food. Chocolate can kill a pet, and since the omnivorous canine doesn’t have my selective palate, carob is the perfect chocolate substitute (for them. I’m still convinced carob should come labeled “Not fit for human consumption.”) And dogs seem to like it. Need proof? Fellow writer and dog blogger Roxanne Hawn makes her own carob-coated dog treats.
And Roxanne loves dogs as much as I hate carob. Dog fans (Donna and Lori, are you reading this?) should drop by her blog, Champion of My Heart, to read about the adventures of a rescued border collie named Lilly. Unlike me, this dog is shy, agile and will do anything for a carob-coated treat.
Carob photo by Ferran Nogues, printed under a Creative Commons License.
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{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
Carob is something, but it isn’t chocoalate.
I’m paying close attention to how you keep your blog on topic while tying in interesting topics from others’ blogs. Someday, when I have a main topic for my blog, I will do this too! (You make it look so easy.)
Now, I’ve been enjoying your blog for many weeks at this point, but this, THIS is by far my favorite post. Unquestionably.
You. are. hilarious.
As much as you loathe carob, that’s how much I loved this anti-carob diatribe.
Carolyn, Cheryl… I’m blushing.
Carob tastes yucky
if you’re Christie (and not a
dog). Chocolate rules.
Yes, I am reading ( of course) and Tango is getting quite tired of his “healthy” doggy treats ( ground flax, unsweetened applesause, wheat germ, oatmeal…etc)He is quite willing to stand beside the stove and wait for a warm treat from the oven (I’m not kidding…he does!) He will be a “guinea pig” and give carob coated treats a try!
Lori
No, you’re right. Carob is not worth the effort.
Carob tastes like oatmeal cooked in vegemite. Accepting it as an alternative to chocolate is a culinary delusion.
Hence, “oatmeal cooked in Vegemite”? I couldn’t have said it better myself!
OMG, too funny
.-= Monica Bhide´s last blog ..Once upon a story- Celery For the love of God- why =-.