As the entries to win a copy of Dana’s Top Ten Table roll in, a few patterns emerge. You’re bored, strapped for time and dealing with fussy eaters. While Dana’s going to address the first two questions (and eight others) in an interview later, I thought I’d get a jump start on the third issue — finicky eaters.
John Wilmot once said, “Before I was married, I had a hundred theories about raising children and no children. Now, I have three children and no theories.” Well, I’ve no children and I’m no fool. I can tell you it takes 8 to 15 exposures to get a child to accept a new food. I can tell you to include everyone in the meal planning and dinner preparations to get buy-in. I can even point you to a quiz to assess which type of taster you and your family members are (point, point). But I know this is all theory and doesn’t always translate neatly to reality. Heck, my mom did the 15-exposure thing with me and peas. And what did she get? A stash of dehydrated veggies tucked under the table ledge.
And I’m still no fan of peas.
So, whether you’re dealing with a two-year-old, a 62-year-old or any age in between, why not share your tips and tricks on getting dinner into picky eaters. What works? What doesn’t? Maybe between us we’ll find some solutions that suit some of the people some of the time.
Oh yes, and if you haven’t already entered the book giveaway, the contest is still open until noon on Monday.
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{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }
I am a fussy eater. For example, my Mother's method was to keep me at the table until I ate nine (yes, she counted them) peas. Now, I just state the reality up front and say that I will find something I can eat — never plan meals or restaurant choices around me.
I already own and love Dana's cookbook.
Ha! I know lots about this.
I think the number one thing is not to get into battles or struggles around food. I think of it this way: my job is to prepare a variety of nutritious foods, the children's job is to decide what and how much they will eat. Don't bug them to eat more or eat a certain amount of something – just put out the food, let people eat, take away what's left.
To make this work, the foods you offer need to be healthy ones. If the choice is cooked vegetables or chocolate chip cookies, the cookies will win every time, and that's not great. But if the choice is veggies and hummus or fruit salad, who cares which one wins?
My family has a lot of food allergies and sensitivities, some of them life-threatening, so I have learned to respect children's aversions to certain foods. They may be having a reaction that we can't see.
My pickiest eater as a child is today a very adventurous eater, so it does get better.
Teresa
I'm way, way out of my depth here. Not only do I not have children … but I'm a somewhat picky eater myself! I will say that I'm much more adventurous if I'm cooking the dish myself. So I'll go with the old tried and true: involve the picky ones in the prep and perhaps they'll be more likely to try new things.
KJB, love you for loving my book!
I put up a pithy comment earlier today but it doesn't seem to be showing?!
Anyhow, have a great weekend Char and good luck with the fussy eaters.
Hahahaha you're right, sometimes you're just hard-wired to not like something (anything anise-flavoured…. *shudder*) but it's the role of the parent to expose the child to everything healhty, and then let the child pick for themselves. I think nothing good comes from forcing… and I come from a Sicilian family that put fennel in everything… gosh, just the thought of it… *more shudders*!!!!!!
I hope she addresses my rice question! hahaha it's probably irrelevant, but it really bothers ME!
My older son used to do the veggie dance anytime we'd put vegetables on the plate. As in, he'd get up from the table, and run around gagging until he could get the vegetables down. He's now almost 10 and will tolerate anything, though he's still not a vegetable fan. I have no wisdom on this, just an the knowledge that eventually time moderates even the wackiest behavior.
Oh, I am with you on peas. As an adult I eat nearly everything I wouldn't as a kid, plus I actually let my food touch now, but I still can't eat a pea.
As my kids get older I am starting to believe that fussy eaters are partially made, not born. There is an element of kid personality in there – stubborn, adventurous, fearful, curious – but there is also what we, as parents do. I believe that if we make an issue out of things, it becomes an issue. So if your kid won't eat vegetables and we are constantly harangueing them to eat their peas, then they will grow up fighting you on them.
We feed our kids what we eat for dinner – same spices, same seasonings, same ingredients. We put a little of everything on their plate. After that they can choose to eat it or not. If the 3 year old is refusing her dinner and insisting on cookies then she doesn't get cookies. But if she ate at least some of what we gave her, and tried everything at least once then she gets some fruit and a cookie (if we have them in the house). She doesn't go to bed hungry. But if she won't eat her dinner and just wants a cookie? Sorry kid, you're S.O.L. No negotiation, just a simple fact that you have to eat dinner before treats.
In terms of on-the-ground tips?
-Sitting down together so they see everyone eating the same thing (positive peer pressure). They copy what we do all the time, so model your own good eating.
-Utensils. Change it up sometimes or let them eat with their hands. Novelty can go a long way (for example, The Monster asked to go out for sushi the other day, then refused to eat. We got her the kiddie chopsticks and suddenly she was a a sashimi fiend).
-Get them in the kitchen. It's no guarantee, but having them help, even as a toddler, gives them ownership and pride in what's on their plate.
-Get them in the field. Have them touch the food in the ground, as it comes out of the ground. Those memories will trigger lots of enjoyment and association at the dinner table.
-Don't lie. I'm not a fan of hiding vegetables in food or making up fun names for conventional things. It is what it is and they will like it or not. Of course, family nicknames for things don't count (we call filled pasta Ghosts, for example).
-Relax. Over the course a week most kids eat a balanced diet (if you offer them one). So one day is not great on the veggie or milk front, tomorrow they'll eat a bowl of yoghurt and it will be fine.
-Offer, offer, offer. If you only give your kids chicken strips and cheese then that's what they'll eat, so don't complain about it. If you want them to eat something besides that then prepare yourself for a few weeks of tantrums and simply take that stuff out of the house. Then just keep presenting what you want them to eat, no pressure, and hope for the best.