Gadgets

Wouldn’t you know it? Yesterday, Blogger scheduled an outage right when I wanted to login. So much for modern technology and its creative solutions. Whether you’re on the Internet or in the kitchen, complicated gadgetry can lead to frustration.

I once had a food processor. It had a long and happy life sequestered in the appliance cupboard with the other seldom used items I’d purchased in a moment of mental derangement — like the ice cream maker that never got used. In my defense, I did put the cooling unit in the freezer, where it got shoved behind a box of chicken wings for six months. Or the pasta maker bought mere days before I met my low-carb mate.

While my food processor was handy in theory, it required assembling, disassembling, washing, reassembling and lugging across the room. The size and weight of a first issue Underwood typewriter, it cost me more in chiropractic adjustments than it saved me in time. It died a couple of years ago, and I have survived without one ever since, although I do get a bit teary-eyed walking through the kitchen section of Sears.

My newest motto (and I have many) is, if it ends with the word “maker”, don’t buy it. This goes for the obvious, like iced tea makers, and the potentially handy — like juicer extractors (aka juice makers), waffle irons and the ever-popular breadmakers. If you’ve already bought one of these counter hogs, don’t fret. They make a great place to hide your chocolate stash.

Over the years, I’ve found that small kitchen appliances are like sports cars. Their powerful engines will seduce you, their sexy features will promise you a glamorous lifestyle, but ultimately, they disappoint. They require special care, take up valuable storage space and are outdated by the time you finish the test drive.

Do yourself a favour. Take the money you would spend on one of these one-trick-ponies and buy yourself a good chef’s knife. They’re small, versatile and if handled correctly, guarantee no one will complain about what’s for supper ever again.